The lethal act of "landsharking"

As I sat on my bed, conversing with my friend about the matter of Landsharks, I realized I have no one up here who truly understands me. No one to bask in the glory that is the Landshark, and that needed to change.

I bounded off my bed with the speed of a... landshark... and darted across my room, treading cautiously to avoid the leaves scattered around our floor, through the bathroom, and into the residence of Kashmir and Christine. The room was occupied with Josie as well. So I announced my purpose and invited myself into the room, set my laptop upon the dresser, and played the video that changed the lives of so many... also known as "Landshark"

I felt that I was doing a good deed by introducing the peasants and the Dark Lord (Kashmir) to this video, and I was shocked to see the facial expression of the Dark Lord to be unchanging. Perplexed, I asked her why this was so.

"That was just so funny that I couldn't even laugh, you know? Because if I laughed I might have missed the next funny part." said Kashmir. We all concurred with the Dark Lord.

"At my high school we used to run around like this." I said. So I demonstrated my landsharking, and I spun around on my heel and put on my show. Unfortunately, what lay behind me was unimaginable horror.

A grand piano resided in the doorway of their residence, and I  never even saw it coming. As I was running forward, fin on back, I crashed pinky-toe first into the piano. Screams flew from my lips as I felt my lifeless body crashing toward the floor like a helpless doll, and I landed with a thud. Everything went black.

The next thing I knew I was being carried away via stretcher, the fire department had prioritized my fate, ignoring the raging fires throughout Marquette, and had come to my rescue. I looked back and locked eyes with Josie.

"There was a piano there."

My lips curled into a smile and I prayed it would be a sufficient manner in which to show my gratitude for her warning. Who knows what may have happened had she not spoken up?

From that moment on, my life changed forever. I have become afraid.

I will never landshark again.