No, I promise, it's just water

Don't get me wrong, I love my bike like the child I never had (and will not have for quite some time). My jeep is currently residing in Metro-Detroit, so as for transportation, I'm stuck with either my own two feet or my freaking-awesome-spectacular-hardcore mountain bike. The choice should be quite apparent, right?

Well, not really.

The skies of Marquette have been splattering the poor kids here with rain every day for the last week. Even when the sun is shinning, there is a good chance that the angels are crying. I'm serious, the sun will be blaring and just when you let your guard down and walk outside to bask in the sunshine, IT'S RAINING SIMULTANEOUSLY!!!

There are definitely ups and downs to riding a bike in the rain. Sure, you arrive at your destination in a more timely fashion that on foot. And yeah, at the same you're getting whipped in the face with the rain with 10 times the force. But of course, I have much worse problems.

You see, dear reader, the seat on my bike is extremely absorbent, and that equals a giant stain of water right on my tush every time I ride it. Cute, huh? And if you've ever biked in Marquette, you would know that you can't just stand the whole ride, you would die of exhaustion from those insane uphills!

So, I tried a few of my techniques to hide my rear-end and avoid interrogation.

1. The Ninja

AKA walking with my back against the wall. It not only hides my derriere, it makes me look just generally awesome. People are like, hey, I want to hang with that girl!

2. The off-the-shoulder look

AKA only leaving one strap of my backpack on my shoulder, and the other one to dangle freely. Unfortunately, it actually touches my wet jeans, so now there is a giant blue stain on the back of my bag. But it's not like anyone even sees that part of my backpack anyways.

3. The Ballerina

AKA just spinning and turning around so no one can focus on one part of your body for too long. You'll also get street cred for your sick dance moves.

However, sometimes people are just so fixated on butts that you can't un-glue their eyes. If all else fails, you've still got another option besides explaining what REALLY happened (because we all know that's no fun). All you've got to do is just  embarrass them even more. So, simply accuse them of being a pervert, or a lesbian (or both), and just walk away.